Top 10 (part two)

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>7. Tori Amos and her string bean love
During May I revisted my anxty, perm and red hair dye ridden teenage years by going to see Tori Amos in concert. Anyone who has listened to a Tori Amos song would find the lyrics baffling at the best of times. Example-Cornflake Girl:

“She knows what’s going on
Seems we got a cheaper feel now
All the sweeteaze are gone
Gone to the other side
With my encyclopedia
They musts paid her a nice price
She’s putting on her string bean love”

I know it is all about art and expressing yourself and stuff, but I’ve always wondered why more people don’t write song lyrics the way they talk instead of using all kinds of tricky euphemisms. It seems that Tori Amos does just that- I couldn’t understand anything she was saying in between songs. I think she said something about Dave Hughes and having a baby to Jesus…… but that just doesn’t seem right.

6. Kate Mobbs- Daytime Soapy Star
In a truly suburban moment, I was not only spending a Saturday arvo shopping in a large shopping centre in the Eastern ‘burbs, but I also entered one of those competitions that benefits charities that you have never ever heard of and aren’t entirely sure that really exist (eg Dyslexic Animals Living Through Divorce). Being the conscientious black-spotted water-dwelling golden tree frog lover that I am, I had to enter a competition that involved a prize of a glamour photo shoot.
Glamour photo shoots were big in the early nineties, and apparently the photographers and make-up artists involved in these photo shoots are still trapped back in that era.
For one, I don’t usually wear make-up, I always wear my specs that make me look bookish, and I am NEVER naturally windswept in-doors.
The results of this photo shoot are somewhat reminiscent of the opening titles to Days of Our Lives or The Young and Restless.
Please enjoy the before and after shots.

5. Operation New Job
On returning from Japan in late 2003, I took the first job I was offered in a school I knew nothing about in a suburb I didn’t know existed. As it turns out high school X (as it shall be known, must protect the innocent- blah blah) was particularly nasty and quite far from my home.
After 2 years of chair-throwing, racial brawls, teen pregnancy, abusive parents (to me, not the kids), 13 yo’s with knives in class, threats from students that are bigger than you and a general lack of support from the upper levels of management I decided I best find a new job.
I thought this was going to be easy- I was happy to anywhere that wasn’t the north-west. But in all it’s wonder and extra budget, the Education Dep implemented an online recruitment system that is hopelessly flawed and that no school Principals can use. I applied for about 20 different jobs, each requiring me to write a 6-8 page ‘response to selection criteria’. Each one takes about 2 hours……
After a few interviews in which I completely choked, I got a new job in the placid Eastern suburbs at some kind of dream school that puts a lot of money into the arts. YEEE-HAAAAR

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