Tag Archives: motherhood

On the eve of my gap year

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“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”~Socrates

Tomorrow my youngest child starts school. There is sadness that my baby is growing up and all that, but it is also a bit like Christmas Eve.

I’m having a gap year.

I know that traditionally it is used for high school graduates taking a year off to travel or what not before starting university. But I’m claiming it to describe what I am doing this year: not going back to work despite both my children heading off to school so that I can discover myself.

Sounds a bit airy fairy. Maybe it is.

When I first set out to have kids and be a stay at home mum I never imagined how tired, crummy, grumpy, zombie, frustrated and generally worn down I would become over the 6 years that followed. We all know there is boundless joy, laughs and surprises with kids, but kids are yin and yang, up and down, highs and lows. All these combining forces are like physics. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Especially on me.

I have changed.

I’m going to find out who this new person is, take her out for a run, do some yoga with her, get her to take some photos, paint a picture with her and then see what kind of career moves she wants to make in 2016.
It’s going to be quite the year, huh?

I couldn’t do this without the support and encouragement of my husband. He’s THE BEST.
I hope one day I can be the breadwinner and he can take a gap year.

Here is me, post mountain hike with the kids, post dinner making, post 6 years of full on, 24/7 motherdom……

I wonder what I’ll be like post gap year?2015/01/img_0657.jpg

Mothers Unite!

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“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born.  She never existed before.  The woman existed, but the mother, never.  A mother is something absolutely new.”  ~Rajneesh

Happy Mother’s Day to all those beautiful ladies out there.

No doubt you have all seen that cover of Time Magazine with the picture of the woman standing up and her 3 and a bit year old son standing on a step stool next to her breast-feeding.

Regardless of what you think is an appropriate time to ween a child off the breast (ahem…when you BOTH are ready is a very abstract term to me, could be 8 months, could be 3+ years. WHATEVER, we are all different, right?) I think we can all agree that what Time was really trying to do was CREATE A SHIT-STIR. Mission accomplished.

To me, they just seem to be trying to pit mothers against each other. Make them feel bad about their choices. Make them feel not “Mom” enough.

I breast-fed both my children to about 6 months. I didn’t ween them, my milk supply dwindled from 3 months to 6 months until is was non-existent. My mother had the same experience with all four of her children. So my kids had formula from a bottle from that age. Does that make me not “Mom” enough?

My son got rid of the bottle around 18 months without fuss, my daughter is 25 months and still spends most of her day asking for “milky in a bottle”. I can only imagine that if I were still capable of physically breast-feeding her, she would still be having it at night time. All kids are different, all mothers are different.

F-you, Time magazine and your negative vibes. All mothers who try to make sure their children grow up healthy and happy are AWESOME. Most definitely “Mom” enough (or, as we say down here, “Mum” enough).

Here is a blog post I read about another mother’s outrage. I think she speaks for a lot of us:

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» Yes. I am MOM ENOUGH from  http://www.hipmamab.com

Thursday, May 10, 2012 at 09:56PM

After writing about the current cover of time magazine earlier today for ShePosts, I just kept thinking about that headline and what Time magazine was trying to achieve with that headline.

I get that they are in the business of selling magazines, but to put something out there that pits moms against each other just a few days before the holiday that celebrates us just…well…sucks.

Parenthood, in its essence, is about survival. Making it through each day to the best of your ability. Some days you will feel like a failure. Others you will feel triumphant. Some days you will laugh, while others you want to cry and drink chardonnay. It’s not easy. No mother out there will say that being a mom is a walk in the park. Daily every aspect of your being – from you patience to your intelligence – is challenged, and as moms we need to be there for each other.

For support.

For guidance.

To laugh with.

To talk things through with.

NOT to judge each other. Not to make another mom feel inferior for how they are raising their kids. Not to make each other feel freakish or guarded over the choices they make for THEIR FAMILY.

Who the hell cares if you breastfeed until your child is four or if you give your baby a baby a bottle from day one? What good comes out of making anyone feel less for doing what they feel is right for their child?

Moms – we are in this together. We need to stand together and not tolerate the perpetuation of these so-called “mommy wars.” Because you are a mom and you are doing the best job you can do. And yes. We ALL are mom enough.

This Mother’s Day reach out to your friends, your sisters and your own moms and tell them you think that they are doing a great job. Because that’s all a mom really wants to hear every once in awhile.